Ten Random Things About Me

1 I am the fourth of eleven children. I have seven brothers and four sisters who all share the same MaMa.

2 I think I have been a part of every religious denomination there is. My mother explored when I was young and so I have been a member of the Nation of Islam, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saint’s (Mormon), a Jehovah’s Witness, Baptist, Catholic (on my father’s side)…

3 When I was about seven, my older brother told two of my brothers and I that he had dug a hole so deep in our backyard that he glimpsed the devil in his kitchen beating his wife. We believed him and ached to witness this. Over the course of three days we lost almost all our mother’s silverware in the backyard where we had dug a number of huge holes. On the third day she looked out of the blinds into the backyard and finally discovered the mess. The rest is better left unsaid.

4 I have only grown an inch since I was twelve. I am about six feet tall.

5 I never took a math or science class during my four years of undergrad.

6 I was almost attacked by an Elephant in Ghana because some of the students in my tour group decided to knell down in front of the elephant and take photos of him. The elephant became annoyed by the flash and possibly the audacity of the students and charged at us. Our tour guide told us not to run. Several students tried to bolt but I held two of them back as the tour guide, who was about 4’11’’, ripped a branch off of tree and beat a tiny tree with the branch. The elephant held us his ears and trunk and walked away as if to say, “Alright man, alright. You got it. You got it.”

7 I was almost attacked by Baboons in Ghana when I stopped to watch and laugh as they robbed a school bus of boxed juices and other foodstuff. I was just told in a tour that male baboons only attacked female human beings. A small part of me was skeptical, I figured that sexism is a social construction and so it was ridiculous to assume that the monkeys were misogynistic assholes. The baboons were offended by my laughter and angrily bucked at me as if to you, “Move along now bitch.” I wonder what would have happened if I had not jumped behind my ex-boyfriend. No. I don’t wonder.

8 I had a jerry curl in elementary school. The children called me “Juicy Jam” and “Michael Jackson”. Okay, picture this—a six-foot tall twelve year old with a jerry curl. My Grandmother insisted on the jerry curl.

9 I was an AP (Advanced Placement) Scholar in high school, or in other words, I passed more than three AP exams.

10 I have an alter ego. She is a dance hall queen. She is loud. She is invoked with lots of alcohol. I don’t recall ever meeting her acquaintance but according to Marcus, Cleo and other folk, she’s hilarious.